Thursday, February 28, 2008

Heart, Aphrodite, Valentine, Buttocks


My friend, the Urban Dictionary


This post comes courtesy the Urban Dictionary. When I'm feelin' blue, as I am now following a three-day, time-wasting disaster with the NEA $25,000. Creative Writing Fellowship debacle--three days trying unsuccessfully to download the application form--I turn not to drink but to the (online) Urban Dictionary. Solace. The heart went out of me. I lost heart. I gave up. What did I lose actually? My heart. My fucking heart. So, Urban Dictionary to the rest-cue, sorry, rescue!

The weekend's coming up and I want my heart back.


Heart: "The familiar double-lobed heart symbol seen on Valentine's Day cards and candy was inspired by the shape of the human female buttocks as seen from the rear. The twin lobes of the stylized version correspond roughly to the paired auricles and ventricles (chambers) of the anatomical heart... The ancient Greeks and Romans originated the link between human female anatomy and the heart shape. The Greeks associated beauty with the curves of the human female behind. The Greek goddess of beauty, Aphrodite, was beautiful all over, but was unique in that her buttocks were especially beautiful. Her shapely rounded hemispheres were so appreciated by the Greeks that they built a special temple Aphrodite Kallipygos, which literally meant, 'Goddess with the Beautiful Buttocks.' This was probably the only religious building in the world that was dedicated to buttock worship... Valentine's Day-type heart symbols first became popular in 15th Century Europe as a suit designation on playing cards. It is possible that the Renaissance fondness for classical literature and history brought forth the Greek interest in the female buttocks shape, which also mirrors the basic outline of female breasts."

And when I turned 60, I turned to Strunk & White's Elements of Style... see "Turning 60," p.213-214, The Collected Poems, Black Moss Press. I'm a fucking retired English teacher. What else would I do?

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